My Heart and Forgiveness: Lessons from the life of Joseph.

Forgiveness is a word we often hear but rarely reflect on, especially when we find ourselves on the receiving end of betrayal or deep hurt. I know firsthand the struggle of dealing with the pain inflicted by people I never expected to hurt me, those who knew my personal struggles and, in some ways, contributed to my heartache. As I’ve walked this path of forgiveness, God has drawn me to the story of Joseph in the Bible, a man whose life taught me profound lessons about the power of forgiveness and how it aligns us with God's purpose for our lives.

The Life of Joseph and the Test of Forgiveness

Joseph's life, detailed in Genesis 37-50, wasn’t a straightforward journey to success or glory. He was betrayed by his own brothers, sold into slavery (Genesis 37:28), falsely accused, and thrown into prison (Genesis 39:19-20). At every stage, Joseph faced moments that could have led him to harbor unforgiveness and bitterness. Yet, Joseph's heart posture remained pure.

God didn’t allow Joseph to go through these trials just for his personal development or for the sake of suffering; there was a greater purpose. Joseph was set in high places not for his own gain, but to deliver and bless others, including the very people who betrayed him. This hit me hard. When his brothers came to Egypt during the famine, Joseph had every opportunity to seek revenge, but instead, he chose forgiveness. In Genesis 50:20, Joseph says to his brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

As I studied Joseph, I realized that one of the reasons God used him so powerfully was because he didn't allow unforgiveness to take root in his heart. Had Joseph been filled with bitterness, how could he have been an instrument of deliverance for his brothers? The humility and forgiveness Joseph displayed revealed that sometimes the very people who mistreat us become the ones we are called to serve. This is a deep and challenging test of forgiveness, one that shows the magnitude of God’s grace at work in our lives.

Unexpected Detours on the Path to Destiny

Joseph’s journey teaches us that we may face many unexpected detours before reaching our destiny. He went from being his father’s beloved son to a slave in Egypt, to a prisoner, before finally becoming the second most powerful man in the nation of Egypt. These detours, though painful, were part of God's divine plan. They taught Joseph humility, compassion, and servanthood. For me, this was a revelation. God sometimes strips away what we love most, not as a punishment, but to realign our hearts and priorities. 1 Peter 5:6 reminds us, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” We may experience situations that feel unbearable, like our lives are getting worse before they get better. In those moments, God is humbling us and preparing us for the greatness He has in store. But we can’t reach that greatness without first learning to forgive.

The Power of Forgiveness and Spiritual Growth

Forgiveness isn’t about excusing the person or forgetting what they did, but about freeing ourselves from the bondage of bitterness. God had to humble Joseph before he could experience greatness, and part of that humbling was in learning to forgive those who wronged him. When we forgive, we are releasing ourselves from carrying the weight of offense and making space for God to use us in extraordinary ways.

I’ve personally struggled with forgiveness and sometimes still do. I’m not proud of how I’ve responded in the past, especially when hurt by people who knew my struggles and yet contributed to my pain. I never give the same person the chance to hurt me twice. I forgive and move on, but I set boundaries so firm that they’ll never have the opportunity to hurt me again, knowingly or unknowingly. I’m still trying to figure out if this is something I need deliverance from, but it's how I’ve protected myself. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” It’s not an easy thing to admit, but it’s real. Pray for me, you all.

A Prayer that Changed Everything

Some time ago, my heart was ripped apart, and I found myself crying out to God, asking, "Why?" It felt like a cycle I couldn’t break. During this time, I participated in The Year of the Bride Fast by Tiphani Montgomery, a powerful journey of reconciling with Jesus Christ, our first love and Bridegroom. The book accompanying the fast, also called The Year of the Bride, was transformative. It calls us back to the heart of Christ, reminding us that our relationship with Him should always be our first priority.

In one chapter on forgiveness, Tiphani shared a prayer that shifted my perspective: “Lord, make this situation like it never happened. Erase every bad memory of that season in my life.” This prayer resonated deeply with me. I realized that forgiveness is not about pretending the hurt didn’t exist, but about letting God heal the wounds so completely that it feels like it never happened. Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

My testimony from participating in that fast is for another day, but for those interested, you can purchase the book HERE.

Forgiveness is hard. I won’t sugarcoat it. But it’s necessary. It’s never about the person who hurt us—it’s about us and our season. I had to release the people who hurt me into the freedom of forgiveness, trusting God to deal with the rest.

Moving Forward: A Heart Ready to Obey

As I continue on this journey, I’m learning that forgiveness isn’t a one-time event; it’s a lifestyle. Like Joseph, we must choose to keep our hearts free of bitterness, even when life takes unexpected turns or when the people closest to us inflict the deepest wounds. Romans 12:19 reminds us, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (KJV) God often allows these situations to test and refine us, to remove the idols in our lives, and to prepare us for the higher places He’s leading us to.

But we must be willing to let go, let go of the offense, let go of the pain, and let God use us as vessels of blessing, even to those who have hurt us. Joseph’s story is one of triumph, not because of his position in Egypt, but because of his heart of forgiveness and obedience to God.

Final Thoughts and A Challenge

Forgiveness is a journey, and it takes time. I’ve learned that it’s not just about forgetting what happened, but about releasing the pain to God and letting Him heal us. Like Joseph, I want to be used by God to bless others, but that can’t happen if my heart is filled with bitterness.

I encourage you to reflect on your own journey of forgiveness. Are there people you need to release? Are you holding onto pain that God is asking you to let go of? Let’s pray for each other as we walk through this together. As Tiphani Montgomery wrote in The Year of the Bride, this journey is about dealing with yourself, breaking free from strongholds, and allowing God to heal and deliver you completely.

We are not called to harbor bitterness, but to release it in obedience to God’s will. My prayer for you, and for myself, is that we will embrace forgiveness, knowing that it’s better to obey than to sacrifice (1 Samuel 15:22), and trust that God is working through our obedience.

With love and prayers, Ketisha